Anger is one emotion that if left uncontrolled, can take a toll on both our health and relationships. Anger is normal and even healthy to an extent, but when it is out of control, it starts controlling you. When we lose temper and anger is at its heights it causes all kinds of troubles – physical, emotional and lastly social.
How anger affect us
Anger increases heart-rate and blood pressure, increases breathing rate and effects metabolism as well. Anger, if not managed properly may lead to various illnesses and health issues like decreased immunity, insomnia, high blood pressure, digestive problems, migraines, heart-related ailments etc.
Managing anger
Though we all know that uncontrollable anger is not good, we many times fail in managing it when the situation arises. Although we get to repeated hear from elders and doctors that we should not get angry, we are not often told how to do deal with it when the emotion bursts.
Here, let us try to figure out how we can combat anger.
- Consider it as a problem: First, understand and agree with the point that anger is a problem. Only when we believe that there is a problem, we try to find out the solution and get rid of it. So, believe that anger beyond certain extent is not good for health and slowly but surely, it will ruin our relationships.
- Identify the base problem: Try to figure out diligently about things or people that make you angry. Psychologists suggest that keeping a log of the instances that made us angry will help us identify the reasons that trigger the emotion. We should be able to monitor every instance where we got angry and identify the situations and people that make us angry. This is important because identifying the cause of the problem is important to find a solution.
- Find solutions: Now that we know the reasons that make us angry, we should be able to find solutions for our problems. We should try to avoid situations and people that make us angry. This does not mean we should run away from people. But, we can make few changes if necessary and see if that makes any difference. For e.g. if the clutter on your table makes you go crazy and nobody cleans up the mess, then don’t get fussy about it and clear the mess yourself. Yes, it does take a little time of yours but saves a lot of time and energy that goes in shouting on others and then dealing with the other negative impacts of anger.
- Take time before you react: We agree that all situations can’t be dealt by making changes on our side. There will be some situations which are out of our control and make us angry. Even in those situations, it is necessary that we take time some time to think before we speak or react. In the heat of the moment, if we do or say something drastic, we may have to repent later. So, it is always the best thing to take some time to think and let the other party also think at the same time.
- Express your feelings: Once we are calm and have collected all our thoughts, it makes sense to express our frustration in an assertive way. We should convey our concerns and thoughts clearly and directly in a way that do not hurt or control others. This should be remembered because when we try to offend others they get into a defensive mode and the argument will blow up.
We should realize that if we can control our anger, our relationships are safe and we are healthy.